Crazy times

Okay, so in exactly two weeks from this second, I will be a Mrs, and I will be having my wedding photos done. After the last ten months dragging like a mo-fo, the last couple of weeks have flown by. I can't believe how close it is, and I am a little scared... good-scared, let it be clarified!

I had my last day (ever? perhaps...) of work on Friday, and it's a very strange feeling, like nothing has changed actually. I think for the next few weeks prior to the wedding and until i get back from the honeymoon, I'm just going to feel like I'm on annual leave, rather than unemployed! But when my almost-husband goes back to work after our UK jaunt, that is when it will probably hit me. And I honestly don't know how I'll be. A small part of me can imagine that I'll start looking for casual/part-time work, as it just feels like the "right" thing to do, but I think I really need this time to do what I actually want to do. It will be a sort of self-exploration; finding out what I like and what I'm good at, what relaxes me and what I can offer in some way other than as an employee. My fertility specialist also said this week that she thinks my plan of doing nothing for a while is an excellent idea. I know that a lot of people prefer working during IVF treatment as it distracts them during the process, but work just makes me stressed and unhappy, and I would rather find some relaxing distractions to keep me from overthinking the treatment.

There is one obvious change in my attitude from quitting work yesterday.. usually I will bitch about all the cleaning and housework I have to do on the weekend, and will often delay it and procrastinate. But today I found myself voluntarily cleaning up the kitchen, and actually feeling quite cheerful about it! So that's one nice thing that I've noticed.

Tomorrow I have my Kitchen Tea, organised for me by my fabulous bridesmaids. I know nothing about it except for the time and location, and I know that most of the female guests from the wedding guest list are invited, but I have no idea who is actually going to be there. I'm very excited! I have to remember to take my camera because I always forget for anything interesting that I do.

On top of everything that's going on, we are also putting our house on the market, and the first home open will be the day after the wedding. We will literally have to come back from the hotel that morning, drop off and put away all the wedding stuff, grab our cases for the honeymoon, give the house a quick once-over to make sure it looks good, then taxi back to the city. Then there will be a couple more weekends that home opens can be held while there is no one here, which will be convenient not having to constantly clean.

Also, my fiance is looking for a new job (what else is new), so he is very pre-occupied with that. He has another interview is Brisbane this week, so hopefully he will stay safe and there won't be any air strikes or anything!

As for fertility stuff, I had my last appointment this week with my FS before we start cycling after the honeymoon. She has decided to change the type of cycle I do from Antagonstic to Down Regulated, which means I actually start one of the drugs before my period at the start of the cycle, so the cycle is essentially longer. But she said that this regime statistically will increase my chances of getting pregnant (very slightly, but she said that she wants to give me the best shot possible). She also said that because my fiance's five straws of frozen semen are "like precious gold", she will cancel the cycle if my first scan shows a poor response, i.e. only two or three developing follicles, as it is not worth "wasting" a whole straw on very few eggs. It makes sense, and I am very pleased that she is acting in our best interests, but I really hope that I respond well first time. I will be so disappointed if our first (or second, or any!) cycle gets cancelled, as I potentially may have to wait another two months before trying again...

But for now, I mustn't dwell on unpleasant possibilities. I'm free from the shackles of the daily grind, I'm marrying my best friend in two weeks, I'm going on a great tour of the UK, and getting to visit the Harry Potter Studios which I think will be an amazing experience for a HP geek like me. I just hope that everyone involved with the wedding stays safe and healthy for the next two weeks (and beyond, of course). I don't care about little things going wrong that I can laugh about later, I just want everyone to be there and enjoy themselves!

Accumulated pics

Man, I can't believe I haven't posted since December! TBH I all but forgot about my poor neglected wedding blog. But now that I have less than two months until the big day, I see no reason why I should give up. So I've decided that instead of blathering on too much I'm going to post three wedding-related pics from my phone of some random bits and pieces from the last couple of months...

The above are my Ravenclaw garters (one to wear and throw, the other a keepsake) that I had custom made from an online store. They weren't cheap, but they will serve as one of those geeky little personalised touches we wanted to incorporate, and also as my "something blue". Ravenclaw is my favourite House in Harry Potter, and according to a quiz designed by JK Rowling herself, where I would hypothetically be sorted.

Cake bags that I ordered from eBay. Cute and simple.

Table name cards! I'm concerned that some of them will dwarf some of the centrepiece candleholders, so I'm going to try and devise a way to actually make them a part of the centrepieces through careful arranging. Don't know how well it'll work!

The placecards that tie onto the bonbonniere have also been made (apart from a couple of last-minute RSVPs that I may receive) in the same style as the table names. One of those things that I thought would be a huge daunting task, but only took one afternoon.

Things are starting to happen now... we're going to see about the guys' suits on Thursday night (they were closed when we went on Sat arvo!), Rydges want to see us in early March for our first meeting since we booked the place, then we have bridesmaids alterations, my alterations, my hair trial... And most importantly, I finish work in five and a half weeks!!

As for IVF stuff, we had our info and counselling sessions last week, I received my treatment plan and we signed all our consent forms for our first cycle. Right now I'm in my last week of another tracking cycle (my pregnancy test will be this Monday), then I have a follow-up to discuss anything new at the end of March... After that, it's just a matter of calling them up when I get back from honeymoon and telling them I'm ready to start. If my cycles stay as regular as they have been, I should start jabbing myself with needles from around the 17th May.... joy!

I'll try and post more in the lead-up to the wedding.. even if no one reads this, it'll be nice for me to look back on in the future. :)

ARGH!

I couldn't let the year finish up without a single post for December! So I'm just managing to scrape in on the very last day of the year...

Everything has been very quiet with regards to both wedding and fertility matters, but this week I've finally got my arse into gear and shopped for invitation supplies, as well as done some online research into shoes for my junior bridesmaids, whom I hope to take shopping next week while I'm still on leave from work.

Anyway, my main reason for posting today is to upload a pic of an invitation mock-up that I've just done. I don't have a guillotine or anything so this has just been done with scissors, but you get the idea.



Sorry for the extreme censoring, but you can't be too careful. Wouldn't want some randoms from the internet crashing my wedding!

Aside from this development, nothing new to report, except that the bridesmaids dresses (the new and improved second lot) have recently arrived and are actually the correct colour.. fancy that. Plus I have bought jewellery for the bridal party -- it's pretty cheap-o stuff, so I really hope that the necklaces don't leave a green line around everyone's neck, or cause any allergic reactions, or we're screwed. Mum bought me my jewellery this week; it's a combined wedding and birthday present. Swarovski Crystal and white gold plated teardrop earrings with a matching pendant on a chain (which I had to order, but I've got the earrings at least). I'm not sure if I'll end up wearing the necklace, I will be trying it with and without on the day and seeing what looks better. So hard to tell when you don't have your dress and veil on!

(I tried to post pics of all the jewellery, but it was taking way too long, so maybe another time if I remember.)

At exactly three and a half months to go today, everything is starting to seem so real now. I printed up all the invitations this afternoon, and once me and my BM have made them next week, I can send them out and it's all systems go. Woo! Looking forward to (in around eight hours) being able to say, "I'm getting married this year!" Not to mention hopefully getting pregnant, but I won't get too far ahead of myself. ;)

See you in 2012.

Shoes!!

Four months, twenty-five days, according to my forum ticker. Not long, yet still so far. I'm getting a little impatient now, even though I know that I shouldn't wish this time away. There's still a lot to do and two weeks out from the wedding I may be wishing that I put this "impatient waiting" time to better use!

I did tick one tiny little thing off my list today however; I bought my shoes. I have been eyeing them off in Williams for I reckon a couple of months now at least, and today I decided it was time to try them on. When I told the lady I liked them, she said "30% off today as well", so that instantly sold it (although I think I'd decided anyway). So I got a $70 pair of shoes for $49, which is better than I was hoping for for wedding shoes. Here's a blurry pic courtesy of my iPhone:

Please excuse the chipped nail polish. I practiced my "bridal walk" in them, on carpet too.. they don't feel too slippery but at least I'll have my Dad to hang on to if I do have a balance or skidding issue.

I've been researching shoes for my bridesmaids too. It's wayyyy too hard to find gold coloured shoes in stores, so I've been looking at the following website: shoes.com . I've found the following styles which I like, but the actual style will be my BMs' choice:

However I think my girls prefer closed-toe so I will leave the style choice up to them as I said. Additionally even though these are ladies' shoes I love them for the junior BMs:

I am extremely hesitant about buying shoes online as you don't know how well they will fit or look, and if they're comfy enough. But the prices are very reasonable; all the above styles are around the $50 mark, and so much nicer than the hideous ones I see in actual stores.

Gowns, make-up and spermatazoa

Quick post since I've got to get ready for tap class. Firstly, the bridesmaids gowns are finally sorted; they have been re-ordered all in the same style (Dessy 2804), even the junior BMs. It will be nice to have the continuity of same styles, and y'know, matching colours are always good too. Hopefully they wont need too many alterations, and I really hope these won't be too expensive either.

I had my make-up trial on Saturday and I was happy with the result. I was wearing it from around 11am through til when I got home from my cousin's wedding at 12am, and it still looked okay then, so it lasted pretty well. My hair meeting last week was brief, but we sorted out the basics and I'm to go back for a trim on Nov 29th. Plus I have been instructed to start growing out my fringe, which I am really not looking forward to!

Finally, on the fertility front, my poor man had his semen analysis last week, and no sperm were found under microscope. :( I was very sad to discover this, even though I half expected it. Now I am hanging out for our follow up appointment with our fertility specialist, as she made me feel so happy and positive about the whole process last time that I need to be inspired by her again. We have five straws of his semen from several years ago to be transferred across from his old clinic, however I'm not holding out a lot of hope for using these in IVF as freezing sperm can cause DNA fragmentation which means they are incabable of effective fertilisation. I am feeling better now though than I was after the news on Friday. Assisted conception is a sucky journey, but there are many avenues to explore before the bitter end.

Back again already...

... but a couple of wedding-y things happened today. Firstly we went to our second meeting with our celebrant, which turned into my poor man suffering through an hour and a half of me and her gas-bagging about weddings and life in general. But she is totally awesome and I can't wait for our ceremony now; it will be straightforward and simple with nothing particularly original or any extras, but I am still excited. I asked her if we could please try and keep it light rather than overly romantic, as I have a massive fear of crying during the ceremony; I really really don't want to cry cause I'll be embarrassed and self-conscious. I don't care if people expect it!

Secondly, we went to Solid Gold this afternoon as we had to go into the city, and we ordered our wedding rings. The engraving we have decided upon is both romantic and geeky; the word "Soulbound". It is geeky because when you get an item in World of Warcraft that you can't trade or sell, it is referred to as Soulbound, hehe. I am having "Soulbound ~ 14/04/12" on the inside of my ring, and my fiance will be having the date and maybe our names inside his, and the "soulbound" is going to be engraved on the outside in Elven font (Lord of the Rings). His last wedding ring had an Elven wedding verse engraved upon it, and he still likes the design but for obvious reasons doesn't want to replicate the ring exactly. He still needs to email them to finalise exactly what the engraving will look like apparently.

That's it for now. Two updates in two days, some sort of record. :) There probably won't be another one until after my hair and make-up meetings.

Whoa, seriously?

Is it October already?? Well, tomorrow I mean. I couldn't let September go by without a single blog post, so even though I don't really have anything important to say, I had to write something.

Okay, wedding stuff... I've organised a make-up trial for the same day as my cousin's wedding; I'm getting it done at 10:30-ish, so I'll get to see how well it lasts and so forth. And I've lined up a meeting in a couple of weeks with the lady who will hopefully be doing my hair. I hope she doesn't have a heart attack over how thick and annoying my hair is. But then when I've had it done in the past (four times?) it's never been a huge issue to get it looking nice. I have no idea exactly what style I want, so I really need to try and remember to do some research in the next couple of weeks. And remember to ask how far in advance I need to grow my fringe out. I might go and get it trimmed for the last time just before Christmas, then let it go... that is going to be a big challenge for me! I will have to try and remember to get it cut again the day after the wedding if possible; as we're off on honeymoon very very early on the Monday morning.

Annoying issue with the bridesmaids' dresses; three out of four turned out to be the wrong colour when I picked them up last Saturday; obviously the "lux" chiffon doesn't take the Claret coloured dye as well as the normal chiffon, or it was faulty fabric or something... They looked a weird pinkish sort of colour, not at all like the gorgeous deep red that I chose. I tried to look past it, but I was just in denial I think. For the first time something in my wedding organising didn't go right, and I don't think my brain was prepared for that eventuality, hehe. So I took them back, and they agreed with me and said they would investigate for me. I am yet to hear anything. I've got my fingers firmly crossed that somehow I can get the gowns in the colour I want without too much hassle (and more importantly without paying a cent more).

As I stated in my first ever blog post, this is also going to be a place for me to talk about our IVF journey. We had our first appointment with our chosen fertility specialist a few weeks ago, and we really like her. She gave us a lot of hope that the IVF ICSI procedure would work well in our case, and even though I don't want to get my hopes up for an easy ride, it's nice to feel positive about it all. I am in the process of having a Ovulation Tracking Assessment Cycle, which means several times this month I have to go for bloods to work out whether my hormone levels are doing all the right things, and also an ultrasound on ovulation day to ensure that I had a dominant follicle ready to go (which I did). It was very cool seeing all my female bits on the ultrasound... she had a lot of trouble locating my right ovary, but eventually got there in the end after a lot of probing! So I apparently ovulated on Tuesday, and I probably only have two more blood tests this cycle; one this coming Tuesday to ensure my body is producing enough progesterone to sustain an early pregnancy, and then another a week later. This will be a standard pregnancy test, even though we are not even trying right now due to wedding/honeymoon stuff, but even the negative test will confirm that my hormones have gone back to baseline levels again.

Then, my fiance just has to do a Sperm Analysis, which will be interesting and nerve-wracking as he hasn't had one done for several years, so we will find out whether his condition has improved, worsened, or stayed the same. I'm also a little anxious about one of the blood tests I had done the same day as our initial consultation.. it's to measure a particular hormone which will show how high or low my ovarian reserve is. The specialist gave me the impression that early menopause is actually fairly commonplace, so I hope I've still got plenty of baby-making potential left in me. Although we'll be incredibly lucky to even have one baby, ideally we'd like more! Anyway, our follow-up where we get our results is on November 10th, so I'm quite anxious for that. Now that we've got the ball rolling for TTC, we have become extremely impatient and want to get started right away. But logic insists that I definitely do not want to be up the duff for my wedding and honeymoon, so wait we must...