Friday, 25 May 2012

Fine line between hope and delusion

On the two baby forums I frequent today there have been a rather large number of people getting negative pregnancy tests; both IVF patients and people TTC naturally. A few days ago there was a huge number of positive test results, which made me feel so hopeful and like I could be joining them soon, but today has knocked me back down again. It's annoying that I am supposed to be thinking positively to help my chances, but knowing deep down inside that there is a very likely possibility that I too will be seeking comfort in a few weeks for my own negative result.

Someone posted recently about a woman who has been undergoing IVF treatment now for 14 years! She apparently has just got her first BFP (Big Fat Positive, for those not in the know). I don't think I'd last half that length of time. I think I would reach a point where I would start considering a life without children (considering, not accepting; they are two very different things). But at the same time there's only so much satisfaction you can get from a pet, or travelling, or suchlike "substitutes"... Hopefully I will be a mum by this time next year, so I will never have to make that decision.

*puts back on positive thinking disguise*

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