I'd been living with constant anxiety and nerves since Thursday morning, but then on Monday morning it was finally alleviated; my 12 cell has progressed to a morula overnight, and my transfer would be going ahead. Naturally I still has concerns that I would arrive in the afternoon only to be told, "Sorry, it's done nothing since this morning so no transfer!". Fortunately that wasn't the case. When the embryologist called Alan and I into a private meeting room, she talked us through everything that had happened in the lab, and gave me a picture of my morula taken at 12:19pm that afternoon. I was a little bit disappointed that it was nowhere near showing signs of becoming a blastocyst yet, as it really should have been a blastocyst by yesterday anyway. But she reassured me that they still get pregnancies with Day 5 morulae, that my chances are obviously lower than they would be with a blasty, but still definitely a chance.
Glenn, my FS, was much more cocky about it, saying bold things like, "That'll be a blastocyst later today," and implying that I'll be preggers in two weeks. I love his confident attitude; even though I know a BFP is less than likely, it's nice that he didn't really say anything negative about the cycle, aside from "it would have been nice to get more eggs/more fertilsation". He was very up-front with Alan; when Alan asked if there was anything he could do to improve his condition, Glenn said a straight-up, "nope". He said that in the biopsy they got heaps of tubules from his tissue sample, and absolutely no sperm could be found at all. Alan thinks that Glenn is possibly not the best person to talk to, since his goal is for us to have a kid (which is fair enough), so Alan's still wondering if he should go and see a urologist, maybe even one who's keen to try more experimental/cutting-edge treatments. We'll just have to see what happens there.
So I went and had my transfer, during which Glenn and the FN were talking about the people that they spy on out the window who do things they shouldn't be doing while on cigarette breaks and such, because they don't think anyone can see them. I had to force myself to stop laughing because I was making the ultrasound probe jiggle around on my tummy. We watched our little lazy-bones morula "Ichabod" being squirted into my uterus, and then they packed up, Glenn making some crack about perhaps he should remove the speculum before I leave. The nurse gave me all the usual post-transfer instructions, then we went and paid for everything, including both embryo glue and assisted hatching that were both used on Ichabod to help him/her along a bit.
While we drove home I propped my feet up on the dashboard; not that it would do anything at all, but it made me feel better! At home I updated all my friends by text and in my forums, and shared the photo of Ichabod because I was so delighted to actually have a proper embryo transfer, even if it wasn't the blasty I'd always dreamed of. Alan took me out to Grill'd for dinner where we had yummy burgers and their amazing herb-sprinkled chips, then I spent the evening on the computer until turning in early at 8:30 (but me being me, of course I didn't fall asleep til 10!).
Now I'm waiting around for our rent inspection, which I cleaned for like a crazy woman yesterday before I went to the clinic. Then after that I'm going to relax and be a couch princess for a few days, and hopefully little Ichabod is in there, blastocysting away and snuggling in for the next nine months... well, one can only hope!
Here's his/her photo, which, if we get our miracle, will be the first pic in the baby album:
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