Waiting for January

We had our follow-up a week ago. Firstly, FS recommended that we leave our frostie Sheldrick in the freezer for now, as its erratic growth pattern in the lab tells him that we wouldn't have terrific chances using it, and we are better off keeping it til when we are trying for baby #2. He said our focus right now is to get me pregnant ASAP, and the best way to do that is with another fresh cycle that will hopefully give us better results. I was pretty much expecting him to say this. It's really amazing though, he gave us copies of the lab sheet, and the embryo in question was actually the one that was four cells on day two, not the two-cell one (which was Ichabod). The growth for Sheldrick was as follows:

Day 1: 2PN (on track)
Day 2: 4 cell (on track)
Day 3: 5 cell (should be 6-8 cell)
Day 4: 8 cell (should be Morula, 12-30 cell and compacted)
Day 5: 12 cell (should be blastocyst)
Day 6: Blastocyst (!!!)

So in 24 hours it went from being a compacting 12 cell to a blastocyst... very very weird, and yes, probably doesn't bode well for its chances of becoming a sticky bub.

FS was reviewing our cycle notes and made a comment about the "shit fertilisation" (his words). He recommended that we choose a different donor next time, which Alan and I had already agreed on anyway. I asked him if it was possible that the problem was with my egg quality. He said that it's highly unlikely; that, although it sounds bad coming from a scientist, sometimes some eggs and sperm just don't like each other. I had this theory myself, but thought it wasn't very scientific, so it was nice to hear it confirmed that this can be the case. I'm still concerned about my eggs though. I've started taking CoQ10 but who knows if it'll help...

Anyway, he wanted us to get started on a new cycle ASAP, but Alan and I were thinking it would be better to take a break, as I said the last time I posted. However, we have decided to go again when I get my period in mid-late January, so it's not a huge enough break that I'm going to get all impatient and stressed out. We'll unfortunately be using Alan's Christmas bonus to pay for the cycle, so fingers crossed it works, to make spending his reward on this worthwhile. Alan asked Glenn what we'd be doing differently this time, as he pretty much refused to go ahead if we were just going to try the same thing again. Glenn agreed. My new protocol is a little different... I'll try and remember what I can:

- The cycle starts with a single injection of Elonva, which is a slow-release follicle stimulating hormone drug. According to what I've been able to find online, it lasts for about seven days, then you have a scan and the FS will then "top you up" for a few days with Gonal-F for the final growth and maturation of follicles. Essentially, this will mean less injections for me, so hooray for that! I think he also said he'll increase the dose of Gonal-F too, but that will depend on what my first scan shows I suppose.

- Instead of Cetrotide, I will be taking Orgalutran as my antagonist this time, which I think is in pre-filled syringes like the Gonal-F, which means it'll be easier to take. Yay!

- I'll still be triggering with Ovidrel, and I'm 99% sure I'll be using Crinone again too, so the tail end of my cycle is staying the same.

A couple of little changes there anyway. Elonva I'd never heard of before, but apparently it is used a fair bit in Europe. I've seen a couple of forum posts from people who used it, saying they got their best egg numbers when on Elonva, so that's encouraging. Hopefully it does the trick for me...

In the meantime, I've got a few things going on to look forward to. Right now I'm halfway through the six Living End Retrospective Tour gigs, which I feel like a loser at by myself, but once the boys come on I lose myself in their awesome musical talent. I'm very sleep-deprived and exhausted this week, but it's only one week so who cares. Alan and I have also booked our tickets for The Hobbit on Boxing Day, so I'm excited about that. Les Mis comes out that day too, so we'll probably see that the same week. And finally, Alan has made a reservation at the Sheraton in Noosa for two nights on the last weekend of his Christmas break (4th and 5th Jan). It's the only 5-star hotel in Noosa and judging by the photos it has a gorgeous resort-y pool area, and is right near the beach and all the best restaurants and such. We've never had a mini-break before, so I'm pleased that we actually got around to organising it. I just realised that I need to get myself some bathers though, I have none!

So by the time all that's over it will only be a couple of weeks before we get the IVF ball rolling again. I decided yesterday that I'm going to go into my next cycle with zero expectations, as the last three I've always had the "ooh, this could be the one!" thoughts, but it's always turned to shit. This time, I want to give being "meh" and mellow a go, and view the whole process as though I'm a detached observer of a science experiment. Easier said than done, but I'm tired of getting excited then getting crushed, so I really need a more laid-back attitude in the future for the sake of self-preservation.