Thursday 26 December 2013

30 weeks...

It was never my intention to let this blog die once I got pregnant. I started it to talk about wedding plans, then IVF, so I always assumed it would be a pregnancy journal of sorts as well. But I suppose that once it finally happened for me, I just got so caught up in the experience, plus the several forum and facebook due-in-groups I'm an active member of, that I only cared about updating to those ladies I'm (sort of) sharing the experience with, and didn't really feel the need to keep a diary here as well.

Truth be told, even if I had kept this up-to-date, it wouldn't have been that exciting. Up until this point (and I really hope I'm not jinxing anything here), I've had an absolutely textbook pregnancy. My obstetrician even told me at my last appointment a week ago that I'm "about as uncomplicated as you can possibly get". Of course a part of me is still expecting everything to go wrong, but nowhere near as much as I was back in the first trimester. I'm 30 weeks today, and it's really starting to hit home that I might actually have a baby in my arms soon. It's exciting and terrifying, and I can't wait... except I kind of can too. It all just seems so surreal still. Only two and a half months at the most until our lives change forever. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that, but I suppose it's not like I'm going to completely lose my identity or anything. Sure I might not have time anymore to play World of Warcraft, keep the house as clean and tidy as I do now, go and have a quiet latte, or sit and watch DVDs of an afternoon, but it doesn't mean I'm going to stop liking these things. I'm still going to enjoy the things I enjoy now, become obsessed with silly things like TV shows, talk about geeky stuff with my husband. It's just that my priorities will change, and stuff that doesn't affect the wellbeing of my child or our family may end up on the back-burner for a bit. I can handle that.

Anyway, I guess I should maybe do a recap of what's happened over the last almost-26 weeks...

My last post was at 5w6d, when I'd just had my first scan the day before. I then went to Perth for a week or so, and spent the time there anxiously wondering whether everything was still going okay, and waiting for early pregnancy symptoms to show, which they never really did! I think there were a couple of random days where I felt a little bit seedy on and off... the closest I got to actually throwing up was one day when I was just hanging at home with Mum, and the smell of her lunch that she heated up made me feel quite nauseous. But I kind of realised it was probably partially in my head, so I just pushed through it, and felt fine a couple of minutes later. The only other "symptom" I had was bloating from all the progesterone. Here's a pic of how I looked at somewhere around 6 and a half weeks:
 
It's funny, I remember thinking how enormous I was then, but now I look at it and can't believe I was EVER this skinny in my whole adult life!

I headed home at 7w2d, and at 7w3d we had our second scan with our FS. I was SO nervous, I was absolutely preparing myself to be told there was no heartbeat and/or growth. But lo and behold, this is what we saw, with a beautiful little regular flicker showing us that there was still life inside my uterus:
 
 
Amazing.

Before I'd headed to Perth, I'd already researched and booked an obstetrician, as ridiculous as it felt doing it so early. I just didn't want to miss out on getting someone with a fantastic reputation, but I was sure I'd be calling before we reached the date of our appointment to cancel because of miscarriage. Well, I was proven wrong, as the day for our appointment rolled around at 8w3d. I was very excited to get this far, and it was a relief to discover that our Ob was as friendly and laid-back as I'd read on various online forums. One of the reasons I liked the sound of this ob is that he gives you a scan at every appt, so we got to see our precious baby again... an external scan this time, so for once I didn't have to take my pants off! The baby still looked like a blob, but you could kind of tell which end the head was. We even saw it give a tiny wriggle at one stage, which Ob said was a great sign as it was about the earliest that you would see any movement from bub.
 
 
I didn't have many questions for our doctor (which was to become a common theme for our appointments up til now!). I did ask him if I could start running again, as I stopped the night before my transfer and hadn't done any exercise at all since. He said I can do whatever I want, essentially, just don't run any marathons or anything. So I tried going for a run that week, but only did about 200 metres before stopping... unfortunately it just didn't "feel" right, so I decided that getting back into running could wait til post-pregnancy, and it'd just be brisk walking for the time being.

So anyway, this baby was starting to look like a bit of a reality. I was still panicking over a complete lack of symptoms, and still convinced that I would start bleeding or wouldn't see a heartbeat at my next scan. But around this time I started venturing back into the baby sections in department stores... areas I'd been avoiding like the plague for longer than I cared to think about. And I made my first purchase for this baby; a onesie from K-mart which was only $3. I figured that it was my way of acknowledging the reality of this little creature inside me, but I wasn't spending enough to "jinx" the pregnancy. And if anything did go wrong, at least I hadn't gone too crazy or anything.
 
 
Even though it was relatively gender-neutral, I chose blue, as since pretty much the first positive pregnancy test, I was 98% certain that I was having a boy. Funnily enough, my mum was just as convinced as me, and my cousin thought so as well. Still a while away until we found out though.. although I didn't have to wait as long as most people, but more on that later!

I also resolved around now to start taking regular belly pics. I had every intention of doing them every single week, but eventually I got lax, and they became further apart. I also eventually started randomly taking them whenever I felt I "looked pregnant", but when I take them on a Friday (when I start a new week), I still always wear the same black singlet for the sake of consistency. Here's my first belly pic from 9 weeks:
 
 
Despite starting appts with my Ob, I was still having scans with my FS, as he likes to stick with his pregnant patients until they reach nearly 12 weeks. I think part of it is the fact that he used to be an Ob as well, so maybe he misses that side of things sometimes. But I'm sure he also gets a real kick out of knowing that everything's going well. So I had my next scan with him at 9w3d, and it was incredible! The little baby now had an obvious head and body, and we could see it waving it's little arms and legs around. My FS said that the scan around 9-10 weeks is always his favourite, and I can totally see why. :)
 
 
Afterwards he asked me whether I'd like to come back for another scan. Since my big NT scan wasn't booked until 13 weeks, and I knew I'd go crazy if I didn't see the baby again in that time (I'd been too spoilt with incredibly regular scans!), I was very happy to book another one for two weeks from then.

Here's my belly pic from a few days later at 10 weeks:
 
 
Something amazing happened in the meantime. At around ten and a half weeks, I started feeling... something happening in my uterus. I think the first thing that really made me pay attention was one evening lying in bed, when I felt what I can only describe as two or three "rubber band flicks". Another night that week, I was just drifting off to sleep, when I felt a tiny "jolt" so obvious and sudden that my eyes flew open and I lay awake waiting to see if it would happen again. Then soon after that, the regular "flutters" and "vibrations" started. Everything I read said that quickening isn't felt until much later (around 16 weeks, and even later for first pregnancies). Pretty much every official source said it was impossible to feel movement this early. Well it goes to show how much official sources know! This was movement, there was absolutely NO doubting it. And I loved every second of it, it was emphatically reassuring! However, because I'm a stress-head, in the hours and days when I felt nothing, I would freak out. But I couldn't justify going for any emergency scans or doppler checks, as I had no medically sound indication that anything was wrong, and if I told them it was because I hadn't felt movement for a couple of days, I'd have been laughed away. So I just had to power through these periods when the baby was "quiet", and relish the quickening whenever I felt it.

11 weeks:
 

Finally my next scan with FS rolled around. It had been two weeks since my last one, which was the longest I had gone between scans, so I was very excited to see the baby again. It was absolutely looking more baby-like this time, which was fantastic. It wasn't moving though, apart from one massive full-bodied jump a few seconds into the scan, which was probably a reaction to pressure from the probe. I was a little concerned by the lack of movement after all the crazy wriggling last time, but my FS said nothing of it, so I let it go. I was aware that the baby was meant to be spending a lot of time sleeping, so it made sense really.
 
 
After this scan, I finally "graduated" from my FS! I thought I'd be kind of emotional about it or something, but just like the rest of the pregnancy so far, I had no real reaction apart from to be happy and relieved to walk out those doors for what was hopefully the last time, at least for a while... preferably a couple of years! But yeah, apart from fear of it all going wrong, and relief every time I got to see that the baby was still alive, I still had had no emotional response to getting or being pregnant. I think my IVF journey had jaded me to the point where I just couldn't let myself explode with happiness and joy, I was far too cautious. I felt a bit ripped-off really, that I never got to have a happy-tears moment; not when I saw that first convincing BFP, or got awesome HCG results, or saw that little heartbeat. But whatever, that's just the way it had to be with me I guess... and kind of fitting, since I'm not overly emotional anyway!

I hit the all-important 12 week milestone a few days later, but as I mentioned, my NT scan wasn't until 13 weeks, so I still had another week until we knew what kind of risk we were looking at for T21. I met up for a cuppa with a fellow IVF friend, who gave me some belly-pic stickers that she'd forgotten to use during her pregnancy. So despite having already taken this pic that morning:
 


I also took this one in the afternoon, which kicked off my sticker belly pics, which were initially every four weeks, so you could actually see a real difference between them, hehehe.
 
Wow, I still can't get over how skinny I was back then!

Eventually the NT scan rolled around. I was SO nervous; I felt that if we were going to get bad news, it'd be now. I kept preparing myself for the fact we may have to terminate, as Alan and I had decided long ago, when we were still doing IVF, that we would terminate if our baby had a chromosomal abnormality. To finally get this far then have to go through something like that... well, let's just say it's definitely one of the reasons I hadn't let myself get excited about the pregnancy.

The scan went well, but I was nervous over the Nuchal measurements. I knew from previous research that they like it to be below 3mm, and ideally below 2.5mm. Our baby, who was now known as Squiggles, had a measurement of 2.9mm. The sonographer spent a very long time taking measurements, as she said the way the head was positioned (tilted back a bit) could have been skewing the results. But the smallest measurement she got was 2.4mm. Everything else seemed okay, but I sat with Alan very tensely while we waited for her to calculate our risk factor and bring the report back in to us. When she returned, the first thing she said was, "Okay, everything's looking good guys" which made me relax a little. But I was desperate to see that number.... It was 1:927. Which is technically low risk for Down Syndrome, as anything from 1:300 is considered low risk. Still, I was really hoping for that number to be in the thousands, just for peace of mind. Alan and I talked at length on the way home about whether it would be worth doing extra testing, but we decided that in the end, low risk was low risk, so we'd just let it go.

We were given a DVD full of images from our scan, which was really nice.
 
 
That night, I finally got to do what I'd been dreaming of for so very very long, and announce on facebook that we were expecting a baby. I wanted everyone to know how much of a struggle it had been, but didn't want to put up a big sob-story, so after much planning over the previous weeks, this is how I did it:
 
We got a lot of lovely responses, it was very exciting to be able to put it out there finally, after biting my tongue for weeks!

Two days after that was Fathers' Day. I thought I'd get Alan a little present, something that would mean something to him:
 

The Very Hungry Caterpillar was his favourite picture book as a child, so I bought him a copy in the hopes that one day he'd be able to share it with our baby too (I also got him chocolate bars that he'd been craving about a week before that, hehe).

A few days later, I had a call from our Ob. He wanted to know whether we were interested in having extra testing for T21, as our risk factor was a lot higher than he would have expected. He said he was expecting something closer to 1:10,000, which is basically what I'd been hoping for. He acknowledged that an amnio was unnecessary, as they carry a 1:200 risk of miscarriage, so definitely not worth it. He did however offer the Harmony DNA blood test, which is expensive but non-invasive and risk-free. I was a little put on the spot by his questions though, and basically told him what we'd concluded the previous week, that we were still low risk and that was good enough.

But I spent the rest of that day dwelling on it, and by that evening, after discussing it with Alan, we decided to go ahead with it. He told me that even though it was a lot of money, if it meant that I could finally relax and enjoy being pregnant, it was worth it. :)

So the next day I called the Ob's rooms back, and after a bit of faffing around, managed to get them to send me a blood request form to take to the clinic near the city that runs these tests. I went there a few days later, had a brief interview with one of their staff who talked me through my consent form (upon which I also consented for them to reveal the baby's sex to us) and how the test worked, then I waited for an available doctor to do the blood draw. I paid (gulp!) and left, after being told to expect a call with results in about two weeks. The sample had to be sent to the US for the actual testing, which is why it takes a while.

My next appointment with my Ob happened before the results came back, at 15w3d. We don't have any pics from that scan (or any done with him since), but the baby was looking great, and he tried to find out the sex for us, even though we'd find out in a week or less from my Harmony test results. But bub didn't want to play; it had it's "business end" buried down near my cervix, and our Ob really couldn't see much at all. "Look," he said, "that COULD be a package there, but I wouldn't want to put any money on it at all!". So it was to remain a mystery for a few more days.

That was on the Monday. At around 8:30am on the Friday, my phone rang, and I knew straight away that it was my results. I'd already had a strange feeling I was going to get a call that morning, even though I wasn't meant to be expecting results for a few more days. I'd just had my first bite of egg and toast, and my throat went so dry that I couldn't swallow it! I answered and confirmed my details with the same lady who did my pre-test interview. Then she thankfully said straight up, "Well, I've got good news for you!" and went on to explain that our risk factor for T21 was less than 1:10,000!!! I was delighted, and then she asked me if I was ready to find out the sex. Of course I said yes. And she said, "Boy." My first response to that? "Ha! I KNEW it! I've had a gut feeling since day one!" "Always trust your instincts," she laughed in reply. After I hung up, for the first (and only!) time all pregnancy, I cried happy tears. I turned to Rogue, one of my cats, who was sitting on the back of the armchair. "Rogue, I'm going to have a son!" I gasped at her. She stared at me, then went, "Mrow?" I laughed, and texted both Mum and Alan to call me when they could so I could tell them both of the pieces of wonderful news.

I will admit that out of the tears I shed, there was one little one in there that was a farewell to the daughter that I wasn't having. Both Alan and I had a slight preference for a girl, but because I'd been so convinced that this one was a boy from so early on, it wasn't a big deal for me to instantly let go of this preference, and get excited about my little boy.

That afternoon I took my next sticker belly-pic:
 
We went to stay at SeaWorld Resort the next day, mainly to go and see the Australian Outback Spectacular that evening, which was fun. I also wore my bikini for the first and last time all pregnancy, as I was already getting big enough for it to look weird, and my boobs were too big to fit in the top properly anymore! The temp was only in the low to mid 20s, so I only went in the freezing pool for a couple of minutes, but rest assured I kept my t-shirt on! Hehe.

We got home on the Sunday afternoon, after a morning visit to SeaWorld, and it was while I was sitting on my computer that afternoon that I felt an actual, real, distinguishable kick from Squiggles for the first time ever. I waited for it to happen again, and sure enough, 45 minutes later, I felt two more! I think he might have been annoyed by the pants I was wearing, as they were cutting into my lower abdomen a bit.

And from that moment on, I had no more flutters or quickening from my baby boy, only kicks and wriggles that progressively got more frequent and stronger. :) 16 weeks was ridiculously early to be feeling proper kicks, still early to be feeling quickening in fact, but I had found out at one of my scans (probably the NT) that my placenta is at the back of my uterus, which is what made it so easy for me to feel movement so early.

Nothing much happened in the next few weeks worth mentioning, except I got a letter from the place where I did my Harmony test, which had the following very reassuring print-out of our results:

I also started venturing into Baby Bunting and checking out furniture and other random baby things, but didn't allow myself to buy anything much yet. I knew Alan wanted to be involved with the big stuff, and I didn't want to go nuts with the smaller stuff just yet.

I took my next belly shot at 18 weeks:
 
 
Definitely started to "pop" around then! I was so happy to finally look pregnant and not just like I'd eaten too much.

Our morph scan was scheduled for the earliest I was allowed to have it, which was 19w3d. I was a bit nervous, but nowhere near as much as I was for the NT scan. Our sonographer was lovely, and extremely thorough. We told her we'd had the Harmony blood test when she asked whether we'd done anything to follow-up from our thick-ish Nuchal measurement at 13 weeks. She spent a LOT of time on the baby's heart; constantly coming back to it and checking every last thing she could. She said that thicker Nuchal Translucency can sometimes indicate possible heart problems, but said that our baby's heart at this stage looked "absolutely pristine". That was a wonderful relief to hear. She tried to look at his nether regions, even though we already knew the sex, and it was a good thing we did know, as the umbilical cord was blocking everything! She did manage to get one shot that briefly showed his "manhood", but we couldn't really see it.

But the highlight was definitely the eight or so 3D images she captured of his beautiful little face. Here is my favourite one:
 
 
I just couldn't believe how adorable he was. Such a cute baby... huge nose though, lol! Or maybe it's just the angle of the shot. ;) My parents arrived for a short visit (thanks to Dad having to come for work) that afternoon, so when we met up with them later, it was wonderful to be able to show them the closest thing you could get to a photo of their grandson.

My beautiful boy. <3 <3

Later that week I took my 20 week belly shots, which I had another sticker for:
 
 
 
And the following day, thanks to a sale at one store and a very good price-matching service at Baby Bunting, we went and bought/ordered furniture for the nursery. We got a cot, mattress, bassinet and change pad, and ordered a change table and a chest of drawers (which will hopefully arrive sometime in January). It was very exciting for me, but I think Alan was grumpy about spending so much money, especially in one hit. The cot didn't fit in my little car with me in it, so he had to take everything home, and leave me in the laneway at the loading dock to wait for him to come back!

On October 29th, when I was 21w4d, we went on a cruise to New Zealand, leaving from Sydney. I won't write about it, as this isn't the place, except to say that for the most part it was wonderful, and I could quite happily live in New Zealand forever if the opportunity was there! Unfortunately that's incredibly unlikely though, boo. I also had the WORST constipation of this pregnancy while we were on the ship, probably from eating far too much, and not drinking the same amount of water or exercising regularly like I would at home. I chugged so much Movicol it was ridiculous! I tried not to let it get me down too badly, but man was it frustrating, and it didn't resolve itself properly until we'd been home for a good week or two. We also spent a LOT of money on a professional photo shoot, which unfortunately I don't have digital copies of (just a few prints and a DVD slideshow), so instead I'll post a pic of Alan and I on the first "Formal Night" instead, when we went and ate at the rather swanky little steak restaurant which was attached to the main dining area.
 

By the time we got home, I was approaching 24 weeks, and definitely feeling it too:


We started a 5 week course of antenatal classes on Nov 19th, and I wasn't surprised that I was the second-last due date out of the twelve couples, but I was slightly surprised that my belly was one of the biggest! A couple of weeks later I took myself to a pregnancy aqua class at a hydrotherapy place, thinking that it was going to be like gentle aqua-aerobics. Wrong! It was SO intense. The cardio exercises made me feel like I was going to have a heart attack. I definitely got palpitations a few times. And the "core strength" exercises I was useless at; I kept tipping over off my pool noodle, when all the others, including the other three first-timers, didn't seem to be struggling at all. To top it off, I had a terrible foot cramp for the final ten minutes, which lasted another ten minutes after the class finished, plus it took me around 50 minutes to get there in peak-hour traffic, so I decided not to go again. But at least I got to wear my maternity bathers for the first time:
 
 
A couple of days later, I tried just an ordinary aqua aerobics class, and it was SO much better for what I was wanting, which was basically just a replacement for walking, since I'd gotten quite slack with going for walks. I'm pleased to say I've managed to go once a week since then, and as of next week I'm hoping to go twice a week, as I've found an instructor I really like who runs the class on Tues and Thurs. I love how weightless my belly becomes in the water... when I walk up the ramp out of the pool, it feels like sandbags are suddenly weighing me down!

The next day I dragged took Alan back to Baby Bunting where we bought our pram (Strider Compact) on special, and layby-ed the newest model of the Safe n Sound Compaq car seat, which was so new they didn't even have it in store yet, and none of the staff even knew about it! We'd just been informed of it by the rep we spoke to the previous week. So hopefully they get that one in stock pretty soon, at least with enough time for us to fit it before Squigs comes..

The next thing I had to do was my GCT to test for gestational diabetes. Fortunately my Ob had only sent me for the one hour non-fasting test, being low risk, although I've heard of many who have failed it and had to re-do it with the GTT (two hour fasting), so I had my fingers crossed that wouldn't happen to me. The drink that everyone complains about was actually really refreshing and yum, kind of like a limeade flavour, and pleasantly carbonated. The phlebotomist looked after me really well; she had me sitting in the foyer for the hour with my feet up on a chair and a pillow behind my back, and kept coming out to ask if I was feeling okay!
 
 
From what I'd gathered from the ladies in my DIG, no news is good news when it comes to this test usually, so I left hoping that I wouldn't get a call from my Ob anytime in the next week!

A couple of days later I reached 28 weeks, and took another sticker shot:
 
 
I couldn't believe how huge I was getting, so I made a collage of the last four sticker shots to compare:

 
So weird and pretty incredible! Although at our last antenatal class a few days later, I did notice that I no longer had one of the biggest bellies.. it was still pretty big, but about on par with the ladies due in January, lol. I have a very short body though, so I reckon I'm so big because this baby has really got nowhere to go but out!

That weekend, now that we'd sold our big china cabinet, and donated our couch and a bookshelf to charity, Alan set up the cot for me, which was great as it made the spare room finally start to look like a nursery. I'd already placed Squiggles' bookshelf where I wanted it, and put some books and some (freshly washed) plush toys on it, including penguins that we'd bought from the Antarctic Centre in New Zealand. We'd also purchased a second-hand glider chair off a colleague of Alan's for a great price, which I was so pleased with! Here's our lovely cot, which is now being used to store all the clothes and random stuff for the baby until we get our drawers:

 
And a "nursery progress" pic, just for the hell of it:
 
 

I'd already set up the bassinet myself, as it was easy to do and I was too impatient to wait for Alan to do it. ;)

After a suggestion from Alan ages ago, I'd decided to go with a polar theme for Squigs' room. Obviously, being in a rental, plus not wanting to spend heaps of money, we can't do a huge amount to make it all 'pretty', but I thought it might be cool to make some pictures to hang down the bookshelf, and make some little stuffed animals for a cot mobile. I made the pics last week, and ended up spending over $100 in art materials, sigh! But here's the finished product:
 
 
And hung:
 
 
Pretty pleased with how they turned out, and Alan said they were cute, which was a big bonus. :) I've started making the animals for the mobile, so I hope to have them done soon. I bought a second-hand mobile off a lady on one of my forums for just a few dollars, and removed the things that were on it so I can use the base and arm to hang my own creations.

Back to the medical side of things, I had my most recent Ob appt at 28w6d, and found out that my blood test results from my GCT were "outstanding"! He said my glucose was great, my iron was nice and high, and when he took my blood pressure he said that was outstanding too. So at this stage, no signs of gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia, which is a relief. Just hoping it stays that way! The baby looked great on the scan, sitting just below the 50th percentile in size. He's always been just above at previous scans, so hopefully his growth isn't slowing too much.. not stressing about it yet though, I promise. I also had my first Anti-D shot, which I didn't even feel even though it was a thick needle and viscous fluid. :) My next appt is on 9th Jan, then I'll be on fortnightly (and soon after that weekly!) appointments. I can't believe how fast this is going.

The next day I wasn't going to bother with a 29 week pic, but I was wearing a maternity dress I'd bought months ago for the first time, and it made me look so freaking pregnant, I just couldn't resist!
 
This week was Christmas, and I made up for my stupid "I'm dying" sook last year by making my husband a yummy turkey roast for lunch. This was our last Christmas with just the two of us; it's very exciting to think that next year we'll have a little baby to spoil!

And now, to finish off, I'm going to go and take my 30 week sticker pic, even though I really don't think my belly's changed at all since 28 weeks!

Okay, here we are, and yeah, like I predicted no remarkable difference (or even any difference!):
 

Wow, so after all this time, my blog is finally up to date. This epic post took me hours to write, most of the day in fact, as I had to work out all the photos I wanted to include, and all the main points of the pregnancy so far in correct chronological order! If I ever leave it this long between posts again, there is no way I'm going to do another huge update like this, I'll just pick it up from wherever I feel like it! But I'm glad I've written my pregnancy story so far. I'm sure there's a tonne of stuff that I've forgotten to mention or include, but I think most of the important bits are here. If anyone's actually read all of this, well done and thank you. :)

I'm off to make dinner now, and then I think I'll get stuck into the next animal for the cot mobile. I'll post a pic in here once it's done, of course. I've still got so much I want and/or need to buy for the baby, but we'll get there soon I hope!