Friday 14 June 2013

Hope in my heart...

I wasn't planning on doing any blog posts for my fifth stim cycle until I got the final result... I liked the way I condensed my FET cycle down into one single post, and thought I'd probably end up doing the same thing for this one.

HOWEVER....

I have had the most amazing news the last two days. I went for my first scan one week and one day ago, and we counted about 12 follicles. Funnily enough they were all on the right, only one of them was on the left! Weird. Anyway, I was re-scanned three days later on the Monday public holiday, hoping that I would be triggering that night and having EPU two days after that. But the FN who did my scan said that I only had one follicle that would be ready by then, the rest were "Friday Follicles". She took her time measuring them and writing down all the numbers, and I actually had fifteen on the right and one on the left, so 16 in total! She guesstimated that I would get "12 mature eggs". Sounded good to me, but obviously my expectations were not quite that high. I was disappointed that I had to wait til Friday for EPU, but obviously I wanted to give the little guys the best chance I could.

I triggered on Wednesday night, after freaking out all day that I had already ovulated, as the strong ovary pain I'd had first thing in the morning had completely gone. I was so stressed that they would knock me out on Friday, then probe me with the ultrasound, only to find a bunch of ruptured follicles and no eggs!

Friday finally rolled around. I was so excited about the sedation and sandwiches... I knew there was a chance this could be my last egg collection, for better or worse, so I was determined to "enjoy" every moment of the process. The anaesthetist put my cannula in, then hooked me up to the good stuff, saying, "Here you go, this'll make you feel like you've had a couple of champagnes." I felt my head go wonderfully fuzzy, and said to him, "Mmm, I love this part!". He told me not to say that cause I sounded like a junkie! I am though, I'm totally a sedation-junkie. ;)

The next thing I knew, I must have been stirring, cause a nurse was saying to me, "Are you okay? Just having a little snooze?" I can't even remember if I responded or not. I spent the next half hour or so gradually waking up, but feeling so pleasantly sleepy. I will NEVER get tired of the feelings before and after light sedation! Anyway, once I was alert, I started freaking out again, cause I had NO pain whatsoever, not even the slightest bit of cramping, and I was worried that my paranoid suspicions had come true and I had not even had the procedure cause all my eggs were gone. It wasn't until after I'd had my sandwiches and lemonade and was allowed to get dressed that I stood up and saw the blood stains on the sheets... whew!! Never been more relieved to see my own blood, hehe.

Got wheel-chaired back to the clinic after my tea and biccies, as is their policy, and I got the receptionist to call Alan to get him to come and meet me. I had to wait a while before a nurse was available to see me, which was good, because Alan arrived just before we got called in, so he was able to hear the news with me. The FN who came to talk to us was carrying a bag of Crinone and pessaries, so I knew for sure then that I had gotten at least one egg, lol.

But I never expected fifteen!!!! Yes, fifteen eggs! Unbelieveable. My first reaction was to bury my face in my hands. I told the FN how stressed I had been since Wednesday, and she understood perfectly. She told me to look out for OHSS over the next few days, as I had gotten a pretty decent number (for once!). I did get quite bloated and had a bit of pain last night, but I was much better this morning, and my bloating has completely gone down... well, to my "normal" level of bloat anyway.

I tried so hard not to get nervous this morning, and I did okay. I knew that logically I SHOULD get more than two fertilise this time, just based on prior fert rates, but of course I had no idea how many of my eggs would be mature. The embryologist took a lot longer than normal to call; we went to the shopping centre for breakfast and shopping like usual, and I had my phone in my hand or on the table next to me the whole time. It FINALLY rang in the middle of JB Hifi... I was worried that with the loud music and such I wouldn't be able to hear, so I nearly ran out of the store to take the call, but only got as far as the middle of the CD section when I thought, "screw it" and just answered anyway! I could hear fine though.

So, she told me that they had been able to ICSI all fifteen of my eggs, which in itself almost made me explode with thrill-ed-ness!! But then... then.... she told me that nine had fertilised! NINE! :o

I think I shocked her with my overexcited reaction, lol. My hands were shaking and I had the biggest grin on my face. As soon as I hung up I walked back to DH, and threw my arms around him. I still can't believe it. Nine little zygotes in the incubator. <3 I have NO idea whether they'll grow any better than my last two stim cycles, but at this early stage I don't care. I will just take it one day at a time. I've asked the lab to call me every day, as I really prefer to keep tabs on everything as much as possible.

Hopefully I'll end up with two blasties to transfer on Wednesday. I am begging the universe just this much. If that happens, then I know that maybe, just maybe, I might not need an egg donor just yet after all....

I don't know when I'll post again, it really depends on how well my embies do or what kind of mood I'm in. But I just had to post today, as I've had such an uplifting last couple of days... even if this cycle goes to shit, I can perhaps read this post again and remember what it felt like to have hope once more. :)

2 comments:

  1. Wishing you all the best. Looking forward to your next post

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  2. Fingers Crossed Helen

    Rolanda xxx

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