Yes, alright, I've been very slack in updating my blog lately. The truth is that I'm now a member of a private group on facebook that is a spin-off of a parenting forum thread, and the ladies in this group are so friendly and supportive of each other that I feel like it's really the only place I need to talk about IVF stuff. However, my blog is the only place where I can talk about me and me alone, and not have to worry that I'm crapping on too much, so I should make more of an effort to come in here. I forget that this little blog is primarily for me, so that I can look back on it one day and remember every step of this journey, painful or otherwise.
Moving on from my weird, sort-of apology to my future self... Alan and I had our first appointment last week with our new Brisbane fertility specialist whom I selected. I spent pretty much the whole appointment laughing, as this guy is incredibly cheeky and crass and says and does the most unexpected things; for example lots of cracks about "dick size", getting me to... shall we say, assist him in determining the size of Alan's "balls", telling me that he wants to have a look in my "guts" (i.e. a Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy), and so forth. He also pretty much said that my Perth clinic/FS are crap, and that there is no way they should have been doing Day 1 transfers unless I'd consented to it as an experimental procedure. He is very confident and arrogant, but really gives you the feeling that he knows exactly what he's doing, which is wonderful.
The outcome of the appointment was quite satisfactory. In fact, it was everything that I wanted. I use the term "wanted" loosely, because part of it was, as I mentioned, the fact that he wants to cut me open and shove things in me to make sure that my uterus and ovaries look good, and that there is no sign of endometriosis (and if there is, he will remove it). He said that there's no point carrying on doing cycles until we make 100% sure that I'm capable of falling pregnant; that there's nothing that will stop an embryo from implanting. I was told by my last FS that I could opt to have this procedure if I wanted, but I chose not to because I was keen to get going and had never shown any signs of having any issues. But the new FS is right, I am getting to the stage now where taking chances is too costly, so we will fork out the money for what will hopefully be unnecessary surgery, because at what price peace of mind?
After I've recovered from said Lap & Hyst, we will start thinking about our next cycle. I have my surgery follow-up appointment booked for next Thursday with FS, and straight afterwards I/we (depending on if Alan can get out of work) will have an appointment with the nurse to sign consent forms and talk about the process for the next cycle. Regarding said cycle, here is what we're going to be doing, in point form because it's easier to read:
- Antagonist protocol. I am thrilled to be trying this, as my last two cycles have been Down Reg, and I've always had a gut feeling I should be doing Antag. It will be good to see if my instincts are correct here.
- I will be staying on a 200iu dose of Gonal-F, however I will be triggering with Synarel (a nasal spray). I have never heard of this being done before now.. apparently it's a "latest research" thing, in that if you trigger with Synarel you will not develop OHSS, no matter how many eggs they get from you. I am not looking forward to taking the Synarel, because apparently it's horrid stuff, but if it's a trigger I'm assuming I only have to take it once, not for two or three weeks like when it's used in a down reg. cycle.
- Alan will be a million times more involved this time. On the day of my EPU, he will give a sample of ejaculate at the clinic, as well as undergo TESA (aspiration of the testes). If neither of these processes give us any sperm, he will then have an open biopsy. If there is still nothing there, we will have donor sperm on standby to fertilise my eggs so that we don't "waste" a cycle. The FS said that we will have the option of freezing any embryos we may get from donor sperm so that we can have time to adjust to using donor. Personally, I will still want a transfer stright away, but ultimately that decision will be up to Alan. However, he did say that he'll "have 9 months to get used to the idea" anyway. And as FS so succintly said, "If you're wiping its arse and paying its school fees, guess what? It's your kid." Lol.
- Blastocyst transfer!! My last clinic didn't do these as a general rule, they did 3 Day transfers (blastocyst are 5 Day). Transferring a blastocyst generally gives you a much better chance of success, as by Day 5 they can more accurately assess which embryos are the strongest and better-looking ones to transfer and/or freeze. Plus, there is the theory that if they can survive to that stage in a petrie dish in a lab, then they must be bloody tough little buggers. Because of my age (under 35), my FS will only transfer a single blasty due to the risks associated with twins (he said that IVF twins have massively higher chance of suffering such conditions as cerebal palsy and so forth, which I already knew).
So when we came out of the appointment, I booked my Lap & Hyst, my follow-up appt and info session, and I have also arranged for Alan and I to attend two compulsory counselling sessions that are a legal requirement prior to the use of donor gametes. Unfortunately due to the psychologist being fairly solidly booked, and Alan having work commitments, we probably won't be starting our next cycle until mid-November at the earliest. I managed to get our first session for this Friday morning, just before I go into the hospital for my procedure, but his next available time slot for which Alan is free was 17th Oct, which means we will miss the start of my October cycle. However I'm assuming that the more time I take between my surgery and starting everything the better, as I will have plenty of time to heal and recover. I'm hoping that using donor doesn't get in the way of us starting either, as sometimes you do have to wait for donor stuff to become available... I guess we will find that out when we talk to the nurse next week.
Alan still has massive issues with using donor, but knows absolutely that he will do it as a last resort because he wants kids. Actually, as he corrected me the other day, the problem he has is not with using a donor, but with NOT using him. Counselling will be interesting, as he has told me he will not even think about donor until it's actually a reality; he refuses to even contemplate the possibility that they won't find any usable sperm in him until he is told that is the case. So in reality, he would benefit more from counselling after the fact, not beforehand. I was concerned that with this outlook the psychologist may prevent us from getting on with it, but he reassured me that he knows how to tell counsellors what they want to hear! Great. *eye roll*
I felt really good about everything after this appointment. Very positive and really ready to go again. FS told me this will work, and asked me why it will. I was saying wishy-washy things like, "It'll work because there's no reason it shouldn't". He replied, "Nope, not good enough! I'll tell you why it'll work. Your age." Apparently being only 31, with no known fertility issues myself, he feels pretty confident that I will get pregnant first go at this. So I believed it myself for a couple of days... but as time passes, more and more I am already semi-convincing myself that I still won't be pregnant by the end of the year, and I'll end up this time next year still doggedly doing IVF cycles -- that's if we can even afford it after this one! It's going to cost a lot more with Alan having procedures done too, plus as this is a new clinic I don't know 100% how much the general costs are. A lady from the facebook group goes to the same FS as me, and the prices she told me were comparable with my Perth clinic, however I am still preparing myself for a nasty surprise...
I'll endeavour to come back here soon, probably after our appointments next Thursday once I know some more facts.
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